You're Not Mature Enough!!

Could you even live to 50 in the 16th Century,
let alone be a badass Assassin?

Life is a grind, a pain in the ass, and takes hard work.  Sadly, that hard work can, and probably will, drive you nuts and there are few things in this world that make you feel better about having to accept that.  For me, I find release in gaming and reading about gaming.  So, after a long day of work and boring monotony I needed a lift.  Good news for me, I just got my copy of the latest issue of gameinformer (June 2011, issue 218).  I saw the cover that displayed what seems to be an aging Ezio Auditore da Firenze from Ubisoft Montreal's Assassin's Creed Revelations (I gave my thoughts on this recent game announcement in my previous blog post) and was instantly intrigued about this issue.  Regretfully, I didn't jump to that article, but decided to read from cover to cover (rare for me).  I only got as far as the reader feedback page.

Shut the Hell up and play your LEGO video games!!

Lo and behold, I come across the age old topic of "waaaaaahhhhhh, I'm 14 and I want to play Call of Duty: Black Ops and Grand Theft Auto IV, but my parents are meanyheads and won't let me play it because they think that I'm too impressionable, wwaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!"  This time, it was a parent's response that I was reading.  It was in response to a whiny child from 2 issues earlier.  I gotta say, I was impressed.  This parent, Jason, had some really solid points that I agree with: age appropriateness, gameplay time restrictions.  And he and his wife are gamers, so they understand the fun of gaming all around.

I guess it's just experience from my days as a Walmart cashier that makes me bitter towards the "Prayer of the Children" (music nerds might get that reference) when it comes to playing adult games.  I would constantly get parents coming up to the counter with what would seem to be a 9-year-old in tow.  And in the child's hands?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?   A copy of Grand Theft Auto IV or something to that tune.  The parent, fully involved in his/her cell phone, seemed completely oblivious to the ESRB rating on the game's front cover that stated "M FOR MATURE," meaning, anyone who hasn't had their voice cracking yet, probably isn't ready for this type of game.  I made a point of explaining to the child's parent that the game is full of theft, guns, sex, drugs, heavy language and all around adult mayhem and was really designed for a player around the age of around 16/17 and up, unless a parent feels their kid is mature enough to handle it.  Side note: if you have a 9-year-old and you think they're mature enough for this type of game, then you need to have a lobotomy.  This Walmart parent was in need of said procedure.  When I explained the game to her, she looked at me as though I had insulted her intelligence (which really doesn't take a great deal of effort in this case) and "explained" to me that I was nothing more than a clerk and didn't have the right to tell her what games her child should or should not be playing.  She bought the game, left and I got reported.  Happy time!!

Now, I'm not violent, aggressive, vulgar, nor, by any means, inappropriate in public.  Hell, you might say that I'm an all-around great guy.  But you give me a video game where the main purpose is to run around shooting the heads off of (usually) helpless digital victims, causing as much destruction and chaos, murder and mayhem while swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain... and I'm a kitten with a ball of yarn (without the adorable nature).  What does that mean?  Well, for one thing, it may mean that I have latent aggression issues that I only let out when I play video games and need some sort of psycho-therapy.  I don't know.  Maybe it could mean that, like a lot of people over the age of 18, I have a lot of stress in life that I need to vent, hence video games.  But it's the fact that even though I play games that are violent and vulgar, I still look at the news or movies like Saving Private Ryan and cringe about how people have to deal with REAL LIFE violence that exists today.  That means I am mature enough to know that while violent video games are fun and stress-relieving there is still real violence that people experience every day.  That's something I learned from my parents and from my friends that go through the real stuff.

Any questions?

Now, "maturity" isn't always reliant on age.  I get that and I understand that.  It is mainly dependent on how you act and/or react to certain situations.  But (as a once-education-major) I can tell you that your mind is most impressionable when it's in the early stages, aka before 18.  If you're below that age and doing incredibly horrid things with sticks to cats, dogs, llamas, birds, neighbors and your parents, then you're probably not mature enough for these types of  "M" rated games.

There's no fun left in playing "Cops and Robbers

 Your maturity level isn't based solely on your own interpretations of what maturity is.  It's based on your actions and how people view them.  That means, if you're thinking that you're mature enough for something and most people in the world can look at you and go, "NO! YOU'RE NOT!" then you're probably not.  Therefore, to this kid (dubbed "GI Issue 216," so I don't get sued or any of that crap) and all others that believe that their parents shouldn't be telling them what games they can or cannot play, grow up. Seriously!  Cry all you want and tantrum all you wish.  Parents get the final say.  And guess what... eventually you'll be old enough to buy these games, so get over it and deal.  Everyone else did.  Besides, if you're not mature enough to follow the wishes of your parents are you mature enough to handle a violent video game?  The Magic 8-Ball says, "Outlook is doubtful."

The Assassination of "Interesting"

For anyone who has played or viewed someone playing or, at the very least, has heard about the gist of the first two Assassin's Creed games there is has been an expectation for an "Assassin's Creed III".  Why?  Well, because most game developers, much like the cinema nowadays, are making trilogies, not stand-alone games (or movies).  Apparently, Ubisoft, the masterminds behind the Assassin's Creed franchise, are no different.  They're looking to bank on that as well.  Sadly, their banking has perhaps brought about the slow death of interest in Desmond Miles and his exploits through his lineage's dark history.

To quickly sum up, Assassin's Creed (2007) was the first game in the overall story.  We were introduced to Desmond Miles who has been kidnapped by Abstergo, an evil corporate entity (seriously, is there ever a loner bad guy fighting a good guy corporation?) with ties to the Templars looking towards world domination, and forced to lay on his ass all day while the Animus, a machine that accesses memories of long dead relatives,  makes him live out the memories of his ancestor, Altair ibn La-Ahad, an assassin from the 12th century, which he has somehow genetically inherited.  These memories hold the key for Abstergo to gain a powerful artifact known as the "Apple", a piece of Eden.  In the Animus, Desmond controls Altair, learning the ways of the Assassin, etc etc.  Eventually, the Apple is found, but shit goes down, Desmond wakes up to an attack on Abstergo, flees with the assistant Lucy (an Assassin all along) and leads off into number 2.

Assassin's Creed II (2009) is more of the same (story wise).  A hacked Abstergo machine (similar to that of the Matrix hacking machinces) gives Desmond access to the memories of another ancestor, Ezio Auditore da Firenze, an assassin in Renaissance Italy (late 15th century).  Again, Desmond is trying to learn more about the Apple and where it is.  More assassinating and roof-jumping occur, but in better format, which gains more praise to Ubisoft.  Game ends and leaves it open for the third game.  Were surprised?  No. The surprise came when Ubisoft decided to take a turn towards financial stimulation rather than linear story building by releasing Assassin's Creed Brotherhood (2010).

It starts immediately after the conclusion of ACII and continues the story of Ezio.  While that decision did put a lot of fans on edge of anger concerning the overall story, it didn't disappoint as it played well, gave a nice continuation of the overall story and, for the first time in the series, included.... multiplayer!!  Stabbing computer controlled enemies wasn't enough.  Now we have to do it to each other. Fun!  I honestly couldn't complain.  I did enjoy hunting someone who was hunting me, too.

That game ended and left the AC Series faithful with a question of when Assassin's Creed III was going to release.  Then I started to see hints on the web about upcoming information concerning the next Assassin's Creed.  "Ubisoft will tell us where we're headed to next!!"
Sweet! Was it, Russia, like in the recent comic book?  Would it be in America?  Would it be World War II Britain or Germany?  WHERE?!  We're all anxious to see how it all ends!!

Constantinople.  And it's not titled Assassin's Creed III.  Nope, it's Assassin's Creed Revelations.  So who would you guess to be the leading Assassino?  Yep, good old, worn out, over used Ezio.  Again.  Ubisoft loves him... or at least their wallets do.

Forgive my lack of enthusiasm, but I'm growing very tired of the corporate machine that video games are turning into and this lack of consideration for the fans.  Seriously, I'd be really surprised by anyone enjoying yet another Ezio story line.  We liked ACII because it was a new and more interesting place to roam around and kill in than Jerusalem was in the original AC.  That became the draw for the overarching series, "where will we go next? What time period?  What place? What character?"  All those questions are still floating in the air 2 years later as we see that Ezio still reigns supreme in the AC series as we head into 2011.

It says to me that it (the gaming industry) has become more about the money than it is about making something that wows the audience and makes them happy.  Ubisoft is showing that.  They're keeping around a tired character so that they can keep the series alive longer and make more money rather than complete the overall story of Assassin's Creed and give the answers that everyone is looking for.  Instead, with all these branch off games we're asking more questions and still getting no answers to them.  Gah!

Can you imagine BioWare doing something like that with Mass Effect?  They'd be shooting themselves in the foot if they did spin-offs based on the characters you've saved before they released Mass Effect 3.  Madness, I tell you.

Hopefully, I'm wrong about how this will play out.  I'm certain that I'll play Assassin's Creed Revelations  when it releases and I'm sure that the gameplay will rock just as much as the first three did.  But I'm still worried that the story is what's going to be crushed and people will start to lash out for something a little more fresh in terms of the Assassin's Creed storyline.  I really hope that I'm wrong.

Hear Me Roar?

So, I have been recently incapable of posting anything over the last few months.  Work and moving to a new city have pretty much occupied my life.  Hell, I haven't even been able to pop onto video games that much recently.  It sucks and I wish I was able to write in here more.

That being said, it recently came to my attention that I own the title of "Worst Gaming Blog on the Internet".  Golly gee.  I'm flattered.  People are noticing me.  I seriously didn't think people read this thing, let alone had an opinion on it.  With that in mind... I really don't care.  Like I said in my first post, "Whether or not you enjoy it is up to you." If you don't like it, don't read it.  It's really not something to make myself famous or what not.  It's just my spouting of inane gaming babble.

That being said, unless you're blogging about gaming too and recognized as better, don't spew your opinion that you can't back up.  It makes you look like a tool.